Having just seen Cabin in the Woods, I knew I had to convince my friends, StrawMatt and StrawMark, to go see it. But how could I convince them to see it within spoiling any of the story. It is, after all, a film literally driven by and about plot twists. The less you know about it before going seeing it, the more enjoyable and surprising it will be. Even the trailer and movie-stills currently released contain key spoilers, but it is so much interesting than that, as I tried to explain to my friends:
Me: Guys, guys! You have to go Cabin in the Woods!
StrawMatt: Why?
Me: Because it’s really, REALLY good.
StrawMark: I dunno...
Me: No, go SEE it!
StrawMatt: But why?! Movies are reaaaaaaaaally expensive. I need a good reason to open my wallet. What’s it about?
Me: You really like to whinge don’t you StrawMatt? Would you like some cheese with your whine? Dick.
StrawMark: Isn’t Cabin in the Woods the horror movie about a bunch of kids in a cabin? Lame, so many films have that set up.
Me: Look, I know that’s what it LOOKS like, but it’s so much more than that. It’s takes that premise and then goes somewhere really cool with it! It’s really surprising and full of plot twists, so I can’t tell you WHY it’s so clever and original without spoiling it! Look... do you like horror movies?
StrawMark: Love ‘em. They’re full of cool, scary stuff.
StrawMatt: Loath ‘em. They’re really formulaic, the people always do stupid things and I don’t like all the gore.
Me: Perfect! The film takes the horror genre and turns it on its head. StrawMark, you’ll like it because it has all the things that make Horror movies good. You’ll get all the references and what it’s trying to do. StrawMatt, it is pretty gory and you won’t get some of the references, but it’s very clever and also has a lot of action and jokes.
StrawMatt: Turn it on its head? Jokes? Is it a parody like Scary Movie?
StrawMark: Cool, Scary Movie is awesome!
Me: No, Scary Movie is not awesome. It is rubbish. Cabin is much better because the comedy is much funnier and more intelligent and it’s still a really good horror. It’s written by Joss Whedon, the guy behind awesome stuff like Serenity, Firefly and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so you know that it’s very film-literate and has great dialogue and characters.
StrawMatt: Well, I’m not really a fan of Whedon. I think his attempt to create “snappy, hip” dialogue really cringy. Just because you make pop-culture references doesn’t make you cool.
Me: Some people just can’t be happy StrawMatt. Look I think he’s great and most people’s criticisms of Whedon are ridiculous. I mean, do you NOT like good movies and TV shows?
StrawMark: Who’s in it?
Me: Well, I can’t tell you the full cast, because that would again spoil it, but there are a couple of great, recognisable actors in it. I can tell you that Chris Helmsworth off Thor is in it.
StrawMatt: Ooh, does he get his shirt off? I, erm, have a friend who has a crush on him.
Me: Sadly not. It’s a horror film, so let’s just say it panders more to men, but that’s part of the joke. Also, there is this guy called Fran Kranz who I haven’t seen before but his performance is really brilliant and hilarious.
StrawMatt: Okay I guess I’ll give it a try.
Me: Fantastic!
StrawMark: Hmmm, think I’ll leave it.
Me: StrawMark I will PUNCH you in the FACE!
StrawMark: Fine I’ll go, stop shouting!
Me: Excellent.
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